Mom's in Cupertino. You're not. Here's how to help with the house without taking it over.
Most of the longtime-owner sales I handle start with a son or daughter, not the owner. This page is for you: what to locate first, what to decide first, what changes if a parent needs care, and how to get straight numbers on the table without anyone feeling pushed.
Figures verified October 5, 2026 · §121, §1014 and Proposition 19 figures checked against the IRS and the California Board of Equalization.
Three conversations, in this order.
Families usually start with the hardest one — “should you sell?” — and stall there. It goes better in the opposite order, because each step makes the next one factual instead of emotional.
“Where are the papers?”
The deed (is the house in a trust?), the trust and any amendments, any power of attorney, the current property-tax bill, the insurance policy, and whatever exists on the original purchase price and major improvements. The improvement receipts raise the tax basis and lower the eventual capital-gains tax — thirty years of them is a real project, and the cost basis worksheet is how to start it.
“What does staying cost, versus going?”
Not “should you sell” — just the two columns on one page. Property tax at the current base against the tax after a Prop 19 transfer; upkeep and the deferred list against the next place's fees; what the house would net after capital gains. I prepare it free, and the parent sees the numbers before anyone proposes anything.
“Sell now, or leave it to us?”
Selling now uses the $250,000 / $500,000 §121 exclusion and lets a 55+ parent carry the tax base to a smaller home. Inheriting later resets the basis and can erase the capital-gains tax — but since Prop 19, the low property tax survives only if a child moves in within a year, and never if the house is rented out. Both paths, in dollars, side by side.
There is usually less of a hurry than it feels.
When a parent moves to assisted living or memory care, families often sell the house within weeks because they assume the tax clock is running against them. Usually it isn't. Under Internal Revenue Code §121(d)(7), a homeowner who becomes physically or mentally incapable of self-care and lives in a licensed facility needs only one year of ownership and use out of the last five — not two — to keep the full exclusion, and time in the facility counts as use.
That means the sale can wait for the right prep, the right season and the right price. What does run is the practical side: a vacant house needs the right insurance, regular checks, and someone local who can get there. That part I handle.
And if a parent has already passed, the rules change again — the basis resets to date-of-death value, California community property gets the full step-up at the first death, and a different set of deadlines starts. The Trustee & Heir Playbook covers that job start to finish.
What “I'll handle the property side” actually means
- Keys, vacant-home insurance, utilities, mail and regular checks on the house from day one
- Estate-sale, clean-out, donation and haul-away vendors introduced, scheduled and supervised — no referral fees
- Prep limited to what returns more than it costs, crews managed, and up to $50,000 fundable at closing through KW Renew for qualified sellers
- A written net sheet every sibling sees, and weekly written updates so nobody wonders what's happening
- Electronic signatures; nobody has to fly in to sign
- A closing package your parent's CPA and attorney can use as-is
I am a broker, not an attorney or a CPA. Your family's advisors make the legal and tax calls; I make sure they have the property facts and the numbers to make them with.
Tell me where your family is. I'll tell you what I'd do next — and what can wait.
First conversation is information, not obligation. If the honest answer is that your parents should stay put for now, you'll hear that, and you'll have the numbers to show them why.
Or call: 408-375-1223. You get me, not an assistant, and I'm happy to get on the phone with you and a parent together.
What adult children ask me
How do I bring up selling the house with my parents without a fight?
Start with the numbers, not the decision. Asking 'would you be willing to see what the house costs you each year versus what it would net?' is a question almost anyone will say yes to, and it leads to a one-page Stay-or-Go analysis instead of an argument. Lance prepares that at no charge, and it is just as likely to recommend staying as going.
What documents should we locate first?
The deed or title (is the home in a trust?), the trust document and any amendments, any power of attorney, the most recent property-tax bill, the homeowner's insurance policy, and whatever records exist of the purchase price and major improvements — those improvements raise the tax basis and reduce capital gains when the home is eventually sold.
Should my parents sell now, or should we inherit the house later?
It depends on the gain, the property-tax base, and whether a child would move in. Selling now uses the §121 exclusion ($250,000 single / $500,000 married) and lets a 55+ parent carry the tax base to a smaller home under Prop 19. Inheriting later gives a step-up in basis that can erase the capital-gains tax, but since February 2021 the low property-tax base survives only if a child moves in within one year as a primary residence, and even then only up to the old assessed value plus an inflation-adjusted allowance ($1,044,586 for transfers from February 16, 2025 through February 15, 2027). Rented out, it is reassessed at full market value. The Sell Now or Let Them Inherit page compares both in dollars.
What changes if a parent moves into assisted living or memory care?
Two things. First, under Internal Revenue Code §121(d)(7) a homeowner who becomes incapable of self-care and lives in a licensed facility needs only one year of ownership and use out of the last five to keep the full capital-gains exclusion, and time in the facility counts as use — so there is usually no tax reason to rush the sale. Second, if the parent is 55 or older and will buy a replacement home, Prop 19's two-year replacement window starts at the sale, so the sequencing still matters.
I live out of state. Can this be handled without me flying back every week?
Yes. Lance handles the property side locally — securing the home, coordinating inspections, estate-sale and clean-out vendors, prep crews and showings — and sends written updates every beneficiary or sibling can see. Documents are signed electronically. Families in several states are the norm for these sales, not the exception.
Do you give legal or tax advice to families?
No. Lance Hulsey is a California real estate broker, not an attorney or a CPA. He organizes the property numbers and documentation so your family's advisors have something solid to work from, and he will tell you plainly when a question belongs to them.